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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26328859">Scars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenwing57/pseuds/goldenwing57'>goldenwing57</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Depression, Don’t worry i like fluff with my hurt, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Suicide Attempt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:55:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,729</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26328859</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenwing57/pseuds/goldenwing57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shadow would go to the edge of the world and beyond if it could keep his beloved safe.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Shadow the Hedgehog/Sonic the Hedgehog</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>126</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Scars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25840384">Misstep</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tirainy/pseuds/Tirainy">Tirainy</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I read "Misstep" by Tirainy and thought, "I really need something from Shadow’s point of view," so ~2 weeks and close to 6,000 words later, here we are!</p>
<p>Much love and thanks to Tirainy for allowing me to post this, since I used several scenes from their fic!  Also, I don't own any of the characters.  I simply borrowed them from SEGA.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Agent Shadow, I know you have a lot going on, but the situation is urgent and we need you as soon as possible."</p>
<p>Shadow never thought that he would dread hearing those words, but there he was.  His heart sank as he looked at Sonic, who was sleeping on the couch and had his legs propped up on the armrest. </p>
<p><i>No.  Leg.  One leg,</i> he reminded himself.  To say that the change had been difficult would have been quite the understatement.  Every time they had dared to hope, every time Shadow tried to help Sonic redirect his focus away from what he had lost, every single damn time Sonic had gotten even a glimmer of the old sparkle in his eyes back, something came up and extinguished it, sending them back to square one.  The day they raced was the closest they had come, but of course, it couldn't last.  Everything changed after that.  Shadow was running out of options, and possibly even time.  There were very few occasions he could think of in which he had been truly desperate, but this was most certainly at the top of the list.</p>
<p>His pleas, however, fell on deaf ears.  Thus, he found himself making a flurry of phone calls to ensure that there would always be someone checking in on Sonic throughout the two weeks he was supposed to be gone.</p>
<p>
  <i>Maybe this could be a good thing.</i>
</p>
<p>When the time came for Shadow to leave, he gave his partner a hard look in the eyes and explained the arrangements that he had made.  Sonic simply nodded robotically.</p>
<p>"If you need anything, you call anyone on that list of contacts.  You can even call me.  My phone is set to only go off if you or one of our friends calls me and I will come home immediately if it does.  Do you understand?"  Sonic nodded again.  That time, his voice sounded quietly.</p>
<p>"Go.  I don't want to hold you back."  Shadow pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. </p>
<p><i>As if you could ever hold me back.</i>  With a flash of light, he was gone.</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>The mission had gone so smoothly that Shadow only needed one week to complete it instead of the estimated two.  As soon as he stepped out of the GUN commander's office after giving his report, he reached into his quills and pulled out his phone.  He never heard it ring, but he had a tendency to focus on missions to the point he tuned out all else.  Much to his relief, there were no missed calls.</p>
<p><i>Maybe this was just what he needed.</i>  He allowed a small smile to grace his lips.  Another second saw him on his doorstep.</p>
<p>If he didn't know better, he'd have said the house was empty.  Only the soft moonlight illuminated the living room and kitchen.  He quietly made his way to the bedroom and flicked on the light.  There on the bed, his partner's blue form lay peacefully asleep.  These days, it seemed to be the only time he was at any sort of peace.  Shadow crossed the room and leaned down to press a brief kiss to his cheek.</p>
<p>"I'm home," he whispered, without even an ear flick for a response. </p>
<p>As he came back up, something caught his eye.  Sonic seemed to be holding something loosely in his right hand.  Something… orange?  It didn't take much effort for Shadow to pry the object from his grip.  Every fiber of his being seized up when he saw what it was.</p>
<p>"A… pill bottle?"</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>It couldn't be.</p>
<p>It was.  Shadow's eyes widened as he read the label.  In his hand was the bottle that, if he included the night's dose, should have held enough of the hospital-prescribed sleeping pills for 10 nights.</p>
<p>20 pills.</p>
<p>It was empty.  As if a pair of icy hands had reached in and started squeezing his heart and lungs, Shadow found it difficult to breathe as the reality of the situation crashed over him.  He immediately pressed an ear to Sonic's chest.</p>
<p>"Please, please, PLEASE!" he called out to whoever was listening.  It felt as if eternity had passed, but there it was.  It was slow and weak, but still there.</p>
<p>A heartbeat, along with the very slight rise and fall of his beloved's chest.  Shadow let out a breath he didn't realize that he had been holding.  </p>
<p>"Thank Chaos!"  He wasted no time in scooping Sonic up and making a dash for the bathroom.  All of his first aid training from many years ago came flooding back as he got him situated in front of the toilet.  Many would have grossed out by the thought of pushing their fingers into the back of another's throat, but that kind of thinking was a luxury that Shadow could not afford.  He reached in until his fingers hit their mark.  He didn't think it was possible to be relieved at the sound that followed, but he let out a shaky breath.</p>
<p>"Stay with me," he pleaded as he held Sonic steady over the toilet, "Please stay.  Don't leave me, not like this."  A moment passed before he heard something else.</p>
<p>
  <i>Laughing?</i>
</p>
<p>"Of course," a weak voice whispered, "just my luck."</p>
<p>Shadow wasted no time wondering how to get Sonic to the hospital.  He was faster than any ambulance.  He scooped him up again in a vice-like grip before taking off.</p>
<p>Seconds later, he burst through the hospital's ambulance doors.  Stopping right in front of the nearest nurse, he cried, "Please, you have to help him!"</p>
<p>The nurse led him to an empty room with a single bed onto which Shadow carefully laid Sonic.  They listened carefully to every choked word and every pause as Shadow explained what happened and took down notes before disappearing to get the doctor.  Five minutes later, they reappeared with the doctor. </p>
<p>"What's going to happen next is we're going to pump his stomach.  Given that he already vomited, there probably isn't much left to get out, but we prefer to err on the side of caution.  The process should take between 30 and 60 minutes." Shadow simply nodded his understanding.  A hand made its way to Sonic's shoulder and curled around it tightly. </p>
<p>"Unfortunately, we're not able to allow you into the procedure room with him."  Fear must've made itself evident in Shadow's eyes, for the nurse added, "He'll be in good hands."  With that, the transport team came in.  Shadow let go, but his fingers lingered as they whisked Sonic away.  When the room was empty, he thought he heard something crack.</p>
<p>The silence in the room was deafening.  Even the noise in the hallway faded away.  He had never felt more alone in his life.  Gritting his teeth, he pulled his phone out of his quills. </p>
<p>"Rouge, I'm coming over."</p>
<p>All it took was that one simple sentence and she was at the door by the time Shadow hung up.  Without a word, she guided him to her couch with a wing curling around him protectively.  It was clear he was barely holding himself together.  They sat down and Rouge pulled him close to her.</p>
<p>For once, he actually let her. </p>
<p>"He gave up."</p>
<p>Once Shadow started talking, stopping was like trying to fix a broken dam with tape.  He told her everything, from the implant failures, to the race, to now.  Everything was out in the open.  Rouge just let him cry on her shoulder as she listened. </p>
<p>"I followed all the psychologists' advice," he whispered, "I read everything I could find, but it was all for nothing.  In the end, I wasn't there for him when he needed me.  I couldn't save him."</p>
<p>Rouge tilted his chin up with one hand, looked him in the eye, and said, "You did save him.  He's still here, right?"  Shadow gave a small nod.</p>
<p>"Then you saved him.  Just not when YOU think it mattered."  Just then, Shadow noticed the clock on the wall.</p>
<p>"I should go," he said, "He should be done by now."</p>
<p>Rouge pulled him close one last time.  "Don't be a stranger.  You know you can call me anytime, even if you just need a break."</p>
<p>"Thank you."  A second later, he was gone. </p>
<p>When he got back to the hospital, the transport team was just wheeling Sonic back into his room.  The first thing Shadow did was look at his vitals.  His heartbeat and breathing were still slow, but steady. </p>
<p>
  <i>He's going to be ok.</i>
</p>
<p>Shadow took Sonic's hand into one of his own, and ran the other down his partner's right leg, stopping at the scar.  At that moment, something settled in his mind.  </p>
<p>"I will do whatever it takes."</p>
<p>He had done the research.  To say that the idea was risky was like saying that reaching the summit of the tallest mountain in the world was simply difficult.  It would require time and precision, and even then, the chances of success were miniscule.  Then again, he had to try.  After all, what other options did he have left?</p>
<p>Was there ever even a choice to begin with? </p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>Gathering all of the supplies that he needed was child's play.  He was, after all, fully capable of living up to his name.  By the time anyone had noticed all that was missing, he was long gone.  He left a note for the next time Rouge would stop over to check on things.</p>
<p>
  <i>Rouge,</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I'm taking him to a place where he can get better.  You know how to reach me if you need to.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>-Shadow</i>
</p>
<p>By the time she read it, the house was empty. </p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>It was a grueling process, regenerating a lost limb.  Each specific tissue had to be isolated and the chaos manipulated at the cellular level to cause a mutation so that the proper structures could be grown.  Apply too much energy and tumors formed.  Fail to apply enough and the structures simply wouldn't grow.  It took hours to apply the changes to even a single muscle.  Shadow's frustration only grew as he removed the 6th tumor that had formed.</p>
<p>
  <i>It has to work, or else...</i>
</p>
<p>He couldn't bring himself to even think of "or else."  His efforts simply had to work.</p>
<p>He pushed onward.</p>
<p>Finally, two weeks after arrival, he was able to get something that resembled rest.  The limb was fragile, nothing more than skin, bone, and just a few layers of muscle, blood vessels, and nerves, but it had all of the correct structures. The rest was up to Sonic's body.</p>
<p>"I did it," Shadow whispered before collapsing onto the nearby mattress.  There was still work to be done over the next several weeks.  Without outside interference, the growth process would crawl and take months to complete, allowing the rest of Sonic's body to deteriorate.  Right then, however, he could afford to close his eyes for just a few hours. </p>
<p>
  <i>He's safe for now.</i>
</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>The first thing he noticed upon returning from a routine supply run was the alarm.  </p>
<p>The vitals monitor was going off.</p>
<p><i>No, no, NO!</i>  He didn't even hear the items he was carrying hit the ground as he ran over to the tank in the center of the room.  He looked inside only to find it… empty?  Only then did he notice the rest of his surroundings.  </p>
<p>There was an oxygen mask on the floor.  The electrodes that were supposed to be connected to the tank's occupant were dangling loosely from the vitals monitor.  Also, was the chair a little bit closer to the tank than before?  He briefly scanned the rest of the room and stopped when he saw the only other object that was out of place: the IV pole.  Out of everything, it seemed to have made the longest distance, seeing how it was in the farthest corner of the room, in the same area as the mattress that he had set out for himself.  As he looked toward the bottom of it, his eyes widened as he saw why.  He pinched the skin between them in frustration. </p>
<p>"Of course.  You just couldn't wait two more goddamn weeks, could you?"</p>
<p>In the corner, lying on the edge of the mattress, was Sonic, who had somehow managed to get out of his tank.  However, how he managed to do so was neither here nor there, as Shadow had to make sure that there was no damage to the new leg.  He held a hand over it and reached out with his Chaos.</p>
<p>"Good," he said after finding no serious damage and healing the minimal bruising that likely came from difficulty with climbing out of the tank.  He then moved his hand up to where the IV had been placed, removed it, and healed the small puncture wound. </p>
<p>After 6 weeks in a coma, Shadow knew that one of the first things that Sonic would feel is hunger.  However, after that length of time being in disuse, his stomach would not be able to handle solid food at first.</p>
<p>“At least I already started stocking up on broth,” he said to himself as he walked over to the groceries that were still on the floor and put them back into their bags.  He took one last look at his partner, who was one roll away from the cold, metal floor.  Setting the bags down again, Shadow went to move him to the center of the mattress and tuck the sheet around him..</p>
<p>“Sleep for now,” he whispered, “I’ll get you something to eat, then the real work can begin.” </p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>Hours passed since Shadow heard the telltale clink of the spoon inside the otherwise empty soup bowl.  He wasn’t sure how many.  It didn’t matter.  </p>
<p>In the note that he left when he brought the soup and extra blanket, he had said that they would talk once Sonic had eaten and he intended to hold up his end of the deal.  </p>
<p>He turned another page in his book.  Sonic stirred.</p>
<p>
  <i>So, you’re finally awake?</i>
</p>
<p>“Shadow?”  Red eyes looked up to meet surprised green ones. “Chaos, are you alright?  You look like death!”</p>
<p>
  <i>You would, too, if you’d been through the shit that I just went through.</i>
</p>
<p>“Well, good morning to you, too, honey,” he replied coolly, not even bothering to hold back on the sarcasm.  His eyes hardened as he levelled Sonic with a look.  “How are you feeling?  Does anything hurt?”</p>
<p>“How am <b>I</b> feeling?  Shadow, look at yourself!  What on Mobius-”  </p>
<p>Shadow snapped his book shut with such force that it echoed slightly in the room.</p>
<p>
  <i>NO.  You don’t get to ask me that!  Not after the HELL you’ve put me through!</i>
</p>
<p>“How.  Are.  <b>You.</b>  Feeling?” he growled.  After all, it was always all about <b>him,</b> right?</p>
<p>Sonic must have picked up on Shadow’s fury, because he finally answered, “I’m a little sore, and tired, but that’s nothing a few hours of sleep won’t fix.”  He waited a few seconds, then added, “How are you?”</p>
<p>“Oh, now you have time to care, huh?”  Shadow dropped his book where he had been sitting as he made his way over to the tank.</p>
<p>
  <i>You want an explanation?  Fine.</i>
</p>
<p>“But if you really want to know - I’m terrible, really.”  He drew in a sharp breath.  “My partner tried to kill himself twice and I’ve spent the last couple of months fixing the issue in order to ensure that he does not try again.  Then, yesterday, I came in only to not find him in his tank where he was supposed to be for at least two weeks because I WASN’T DONE YET!”</p>
<p>Shadow turned around with the fire in his eyes dimmed only slightly and watched as Sonic processed the information that had just been laid out before him.</p>
<p>“Wait, <b>You</b> gave me my leg back?”</p>
<p>Shadow huffed.  “No, I did not give you your leg <b>back -</b> I would need to have it in the first place in order to do that.  It’s not your old leg.  It’s a new one.”  He gestured toward the tank.  “I mutated the DNA in your leg so that the cells could endlessly divide and regrow it.  I then sped the process along and controlled it as your body worked to replace what you had lost.”</p>
<p>It seemed to take a moment for Sonic to form a coherent thought. “You - what - you - why didn’t you tell me that this was possible?” His face flitted from surprise to anger, and settled on betrayal.  “Why didn’t you tell me I could have my leg back?  Why did you let me go through all those painful operations instead of just telling me-”</p>
<p>
  <b>“YOU FORCED MY HAND!!!”</b>
</p>
<p>The air was electrified with Shadow’s fury as the room nearly shook with its power.  Shadow neither noticed nor cared.  He continued on.</p>
<p>“You think this was easy?!!  You have no idea how hard it is to pull off something like gene editing with chaos energy!  I was a <b>thousand</b> times more likely to cause cancer than get the change that I wanted - and I did numerous times - and you need to make this change to <b>billions</b> of cells to get a reasonable regeneration rate!  I didn’t know if it was even possible at all!  I was a <b>million</b> times more likely to <b>kill</b> you than get you a new limb!”</p>
<p>Shadow had to catch his breath after his outburst ended.  Sonic could only stare with wide eyes.</p>
<p>Shadow sighed as bone-deep exhaustion moved in to replace his anger from seconds before.  “But after your second attempt at your life-” he closed his eyes and turned away in an attempt to push down the memory of that painful night months before- “I figured that I might as well take the odds: Either I’d save you or you'd end up dead as you wanted to.  It seemed worth a try.”</p>
<p>He quickly pushed his pain behind a mask and hardened eyes.  A brief silence followed.</p>
<p>“Shadow, I’m-”</p>
<p>“No.  I don’t want to hear what’s on your heart anymore.  Keep your sentiments to yourself like you did before this.  After all, you prefer it that way, don’t you?”</p>
<p>“Shadow, please-”  Shadow never heard what Sonic was going to say, for a brief flash of light carried him to a familiar bedroom.  His knees gave out before he could reach the bed and he fell to the floor, sobbing.</p>
<p>“Maria, what would you have said?”</p>
<p>Of course, his only answer was silence.  He pushed himself up to a standing position.  There was still work to be done.  Casting one last look around the room he had so many fond memories of, he made his way to the training room.</p>
<p>The training room was where Shadow had spent a large portion of his youth.  Whenever the researchers weren't running tests, he was either in there, honing his speed, strength, and combat skills, or playing with Maria, sometimes both.  The equipment had broken down, as was expected after over 50 years of nobody touching it.  Over the past several weeks, Shadow had been slowly repairing and rebuilding it, designing everything to fit Sonic's needs.  He thought he had two more weeks to complete it, but it seemed the universe was not yet done throwing wrenches into his plans.  It was okay, though.  It was a good way to channel his anger from earlier. </p>
<p><i>Chaos, did I really just</i> yell <i>at him?</i> He paused. </p>
<p><i>And why did it feel</i> good?</p>
<p>Instead of thinking about questions he couldn't hope to answer, he threw himself into his work, just as before. </p>
<p>He spent hours tightening this, adjusting that, and making sure that everything was in its proper place and ready for use.  He figured it must've been early afternoon by the time he finished.  He stepped back to look at his work.  Satisfied with what he saw, he slipped behind a mask again and stepped out to get Sonic. </p>
<p>
  <i>Time for the real work to begin.</i>
</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>Work, it was.  For Shadow, the days began early, with him doing all of the cutting and prep for all of their meals for the day each morning while he was sure that Sonic was still asleep. From there, he woke Sonic up and they had breakfast.  Well, Sonic did, anyway.  Shadow always made sure to cook enough for him to have extra helpings.</p>
<p>At some points, Sonic asked timidly, "Aren't you going to have any?" a question to which the answer was always the same.</p>
<p>"I can sustain myself for long periods of time without food."</p>
<p>
  <i>You need the energy more than I do.  I'll be fine.</i>
</p>
<p>Following breakfast, the training took up the rest of the day, save for lunch and bathroom breaks.  It was intense.  One might say that Shadow became the personal trainer from hell with the way he exhausted each of Sonic's limbs to the point where he couldn't move a single muscle.  Sonic's muscles had deteriorated during his time in the tank, so Shadow needed to start from scratch.  The only time he did anything resembling going easy on him was when he made him work the new leg.  Sonic had to learn how to control it, first, as the neural pathways hadn't yet reestablished themselves. </p>
<p>Shadow wasn't exactly what one would've called "encouraging," either.  He had tried that in the past, using gentle nudges and kind, caring words.</p>
<p>
  <i>But look where that got us.</i>
</p>
<p>No.  Instead, he became an enemy, using insults and taunts whenever Sonic couldn't meet his demands.  </p>
<p><i>That's how you've always done best, isn't it?  You need something to oppose.  I suppose it can be me.</i>  He watched as an expression of hurt briefly crossed Sonic's face with each one.  Sonic pushed harder.</p>
<p>
  <i>You brought this upon yourself.  This hurts me a lot more than it does you.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It didn't take long for Sonic to start coming back with jabs of his own.  Suddenly, it was just a little easier to breathe.  One even brought a slight upturn to his lips. </p>
<p>
  <i>Yes, definitely easier.</i>
</p>
<p>The nights ran late, for him, at least.  Sonic, on the other hand, was often content to go to bed immediately after dinner.  A few times, though, he offered to help with the dishes. </p>
<p>"I helped make the mess.  It's not fair that you're always the only one cleaning it up."</p>
<p>Cleaning the dishes meant handling forks and knives.  Shadow screwed his eyes shut as an image of pristine white gloves turned red flashed before them.</p>
<p>"...no."</p>
<p><i>No.  Just… no.</i>  </p>
<p>No matter how exhausting the day was, Shadow always made sure that Sonic was asleep before him.  It didn't matter how long it took- he had plenty of books.  Sometimes, if he felt up to it, once Sonic fell asleep, he took a few bites of the day's leftovers.  Most of the time, though, he went right to bed so that he could repeat the process in a few hours. </p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>The days brought little change to their routine, except for when Shadow had to make supply runs.  For those, he always made sure to instruct Sonic to stay in the bedroom.  For some reason, he was sure that Sonic never left while he was gone and for that, he was grateful. </p>
<p>This trip, though, wasn't a supply run.  Supply runs never ended with dust, cuts, and bruises.  Shadow had gotten a call from Rouge that his help was needed.  Of course, that's not what he told his partner, which would explain Sonic's reaction upon seeing him.</p>
<p>"Shadow?!"  The black hedgehog stumbled forward and felt a hand come up to catch him.  Without thinking, he reached to the other for support. </p>
<p>"What happened?"  An arm wrapped around him, guiding him to the nearby bed.  He wasn't sure whose it was - he was too exhausted and in too much pain to care or resist. </p>
<p>"Doctor… was wreaking… havoc… they needed… backup."  Shadow gritted the words out as he collapsed onto the bed unceremoniously.  Once he was settled, Sonic let go of him. </p>
<p>"Hold on.  I'm going to go get a first-aid kit."  Just as Sonic turned away, Shadow caught him by the wrist. </p>
<p>"Don't," he mumbled, half into the pillow under his head. </p>
<p>
  <i>I can't let you be by yourself.</i>
</p>
<p>Sonic tried, but even in his state, Shadow kept a tight hold on him that Sonic couldn't hope to break. </p>
<p>"Shadow, it's alright.  I'll be right back-"</p>
<p>"No."  With that, Shadow pulled hard, causing Sonic to almost fall on top of him.  "I gotta keep an eye on you."</p>
<p>
  <i>The last time I did that...</i>
</p>
<p>"Can't give you another… chance."</p>
<p>
  <i>...I almost <b>lost</b> you.</i>
</p>
<p>"Shadow…"  Shadow heard the protest die before it could cross Sonic's lips as realization of what he meant by 'chance' set in.</p>
<p>"I promise I'll be right back.  Please, Shad, just trust me."</p>
<p>
  <i>You promised before.  You promised you'd be alright.</i>
</p>
<p>"...I trusted you <b>before.</b>"</p>
<p>A brief look of hurt flashed in Sonic's eyes before he replied, "Then trust me <b>again</b>.  After all, I haven't had the chance to try the new leg in a race against you, yet."</p>
<p>'Yet.'  It was such a simple word, only three letters, but held so much promise - a promise of the future.  It had been far too long since Shadow had heard Sonic talk about the future in any way.  That grin he wore when he said it?  Though it had been months since Shadow had last seen it in all of its glory, right then, it still looked like it came as naturally as breathing and was as bright and beautiful as it had ever been.  Maybe he could…</p>
<p>He let his hand fall away from his partner's wrist.</p>
<p>His eyes still followed him as he left the room.  His breath caught ever so slightly when he saw him return and sit on the bed.</p>
<p>The peroxide and ointments stung as Sonic applied them to the numerous cuts and scrapes, but not enough to overpower the pull of sleep as the bone-deep weariness from the past few months finally had the chance to overtake him.  Crimson eyes closed, even if only for a moment.  When he opened them again, one question echoed through his mind.</p>
<p>"Why did you do it?"</p>
<p>Sonic brushed away a bit of dust.  "Do what?"</p>
<p>"Try to… kill yourself?"</p>
<p>
  <i>What else could I have done to help?</i>
</p>
<p>Sonic's hands paused their ministrations.  "I… just… I felt like nothing mattered anymore, like, if I can't run, then what else is there to life?  I mean, I know I had all of you, loving and caring for me, but I just… I felt like a burden."</p>
<p><i>A burden that I would've been happy to bear!</i> Shadow wanted to say, but he stayed silent.</p>
<p>"Instead of enjoying life, you were all busy helping me out with everything and I just felt it would be better for everybody if I was… gone."  Shadow felt his heart clench at the words. </p>
<p>"It was our choice to care for you.  If we didn't want to, we wouldn't have.  Also, I know you absolutely adore running, but there are other things you like.  Why couldn't you have turned your energy elsewhere, like… singing?  You enjoy that, too," he argued, remembering when he 'found' Sonic's guitar while 'cleaning out the closet.'</p>
<p>Sonic seemed to remember it, too, for he gave a little chuckle. "Well, I do enjoy that, but it's not really my passion like running is.  That one just holds a very special place in my heart."  Sonic gave Shadow a long look.</p>
<p>"It's a part of who I am."  Sonic never actually said that last bit, but Shadow heard it nonetheless. He was taken aback when, suddenly, lips pressed against his cheek.</p>
<p>"Thank you for giving it back to me."  Shadow's expression softened into a smile, one only ever meant for his beloved. </p>
<p>"I would give you anything."  The words are nothing but a whisper, a mere thought given life, but they always had been and will always be true.</p>
<p>"I know."  Sonic's expression softened to match his partner's while he still hovered over him. "I'm lucky I have you.  I love you."</p>
<p>
  <i>I do believe that <b>I'm</b> the lucky one.  I love you, too.  More than you could ever know.</i>
</p>
<p>Before he could voice the thought, however, Sonic asked, "Truce?"</p>
<p>"Yes."  When he pulled his partner down and soft lips crashed into his, it was everything he had been missing. </p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>They say that time heals all wounds, but they never mention the scars that remain.</p>
<p>Several weeks had gone by.   While they were still on the ARK and Shadow was still putting Sonic through the wringer to get his new leg into shape, things between them had pretty much settled.  There was even a date night in the works, their first since, well, since Sonic's injury.</p>
<p>If memory served, and Shadow would say that his always did, it was Shadow's turn to plan it.  That night, he had opted for pizza and board games.  He had always been one for more stay-at-home kinds of things.  Of course, that meant that he needed to go back down to the planet.  After all, while the ARK had almost anything else that they could possibly need, it didn't have their favorite pizzeria that was just around the corner from their house or any of their favorite games.  </p>
<p>One thing made this trip remarkably different from all of his others.</p>
<p>
  <i>"I'll need to go down and get everything," he said, giving his partner's hand a gentle squeeze. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"OK.  I'll wait here."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>As he reached into his quills for his emerald, he turned around and met Sonic's eyes.  "You… you don't have to stay in here, if you don't want to."  Sonic only stared back in soft surprise. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Just… be safe.  I'll be back in about an hour."  He gave Sonic a light peck on the lips before disappearing in a flash of light.</i>
</p>
<p>Right.  He had allowed Sonic to wander around while he was gone.  Sonic seemed to be in a much better mental state than he had been all those months ago, the spark in his eyes growing brighter and brighter until it became a blaze.  Surely, Shadow could trust him for an hour, right?  </p>
<p>"Here you go, sir."</p>
<p>Oh.  Right.  He reached up and grabbed the pizza and soda off of the counter.  With those in one arm and the games tucked under the other, he disappeared in another flash.  When he reappeared a second later, it was in the ARK's kitchen. </p>
<p>"I'm back!" he called, setting the pizza and soda on a counter.  No response came.  His heart beat just a little bit faster. </p>
<p><i>He's probably just exploring.</i>  Still, just to be sure, he made his way to the bedroom, games still in hand.  His breath caught in his chest at what he saw.  </p>
<p>
  <i>No.  No, not again, NO!</i>
</p>
<p>Sonic was draped over the (now shared) bed, his figure unmoving as he appeared to be in a peaceful sleep.</p>
<p>Just like that night.</p>
<p>Shadow never felt the games come loose from his arm.  He never heard them clatter to the ground as he crossed the room in less than a second.  The bright white light faded to a dim amber as the rest of his surroundings swirled around him.  All he could hear was his own blood thundering through him as his heart pounded.  He pressed an ear to Sonic’s chest.</p>
<p>“I trusted you!”</p>
<p>A tear dripped onto the peach fur beneath him, but he neither noticed nor cared.  His only focus was on the sound that he so desperately wanted to hear, the rhythmic ‘thump-thump’ of a heartbeat.</p>
<p>“Please.”</p>
<p>Then, like an answer to his plea, there it was.  He could barely hear it over the sound of blood rushing in his ears, but it was there, steady and…</p>
<p>...Strong?  Shadow tensed as he tried to calm himself to listen.</p>
<p>Yes, it was steady and strong, but was it also getting faster?  Like…</p>
<p>
  <i>He’s just asleep.  He’s just asleep. It’s-</i>
</p>
<p>“-not like before.”  Letting out a shaky breath, his hands curled into the sheets under them.  “It’s not like before.”  Suddenly, two weights landed on him gently, one on his head and the other on his back.</p>
<p>“Shadow?”  He twitched an ear in vague recognition of his name.</p>
<p>“Shadow, it’s ok.  I’m here.”</p>
<p>“I-I know.  I just-”  His eyes slid up to see one of the arms that was curled around him.</p>
<p>“Shhh.  It’s ok.  Just breathe.”  The hand on his head carded through his quills.  The room began to settle back into its original shape and colors as a kiss was pressed to his forehead.</p>
<p>“Seeing you - it reminded me -”  The thoughts tumbled out as half-sentences and tears began to flow.  He wasn’t sure if they were from relief or pain, perhaps both. “I almost lost you.  Please - please don’t make me live without you.”</p>
<p>Sonic’s arms tightened around him.  “I won’t.”  There was certainty in his voice.</p>
<p>Neither one was sure how much time had passed before either of them spoke again, but it was Sonic who spoke first, locking green eyes onto red.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” he began.  A question began to form in Shadow’s mind, but Sonic continued before it could come out.</p>
<p>“I was selfish.  I thought that, by… killing myself… I would be making things easier for all of you, but I never thought of just how much my actions would actually affect everyone, especially you.  You’ve suffered so much since then, and you sacrificed so much to help me, just like you’d been doing since you first got to me when I was in the hospital.  You’ve been by my side for all this time and you even gave me a new leg!  I don’t know how I could ever repay you.”  Shadow opened his mouth in an attempt to speak, but Sonic wasn’t finished.</p>
<p>“Though I suppose I could start by making sure that you’re taken care of.”  He pressed his lips to Shadow’s forehead again.</p>
<p>Shadow offered him a smile.  “I like that.”  His eyes fluttered closed.</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>Hours went by before either of them even thought to get up.  Meanwhile, the pizza sat in the kitchen, forgotten.  Sonic gazed down at his partner, who was snoring softly.</p>
<p>“Well, it’s a good thing we have an oven.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm super proud of how this one came out, so comments and kudos are much, much appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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